WEEK TWO: DATING DIFFERENTLY

In Alaska (particularly on the Kenai Peninsula), there is a unique situation that claims multiple lives every year. As the tides ebb and flow, at low tide they expose what looks like a wet, light gray sand. Seeing this and believing it to be just that, people will try to walk on it. In actuality it is not sand at all. It is silt created by the glaciers moving and grinding across the rock that makes up much of the landscape of the area (that then flows down to these low spots). This silt deposit, although looking safe, is stickier and faster than quicksand. So as people walk out on to it, they quickly get stuck and are swallowed up, often costing them their lives before help can arrive.

Our relationships can often be like this too, especially the dating relationship. We find that other person, and we are infatuated with them and the prospect of the relationship. So, we jump in with both feet, ready to give it our all. And then, just like the Alaskan silt, we realize it may not be exactly what we thought it was. We can feel stuck… and even sinking.

Now before you think that I am saying that all dating is the proverbial quicksand, let me clarify. Dating (and the dating relationship) is very important when it comes to choosing a person to spend your life with. We should take time to get to know them and see if that is what we are looking for in a spouse. However, we need to go into that relationship with our eyes open and a knowledge of what a Godly relationship looks like.

If you go into the relationship casually, you will probably have a casual relationship, looking for what you can get out of it. Or on the other hand, we can go into it with the mindset that if we date, we must marry and then feel stuck.

In Song of Songs 8:6-7, Solomon writes, “Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame. Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.” (NIV) This isn’t necessarily talking about love between two people; many scholars believe it is talking about the only source of unconditional, unending, death-defying love that is the love of God himself.

God creates the foundation for our relationships through Jesus, not the “right one” for you. His love for us gives us love that we can give away to someone else. Build your relationship on the foundation of Jesus. If the person you are dating is leading you away from Jesus instead of toward him, be warned. Look for godly character first. Raise your standard. Find a person who lives and loves like Jesus and loves others with the love of Jesus. Then in turn, be a person of character and not just appearances. Show respect, dignity, value, and honor.

If you don’t want to date like most people date, then you must do what few are willing to do.